Clear communication - Part 2 – masculine and feminine communication

Some individuals call habitual forms of thinking – mental models. Another method or clearing our communication is by learning how to speak to our receiver’s listening. Although we don’t know instantly from looking at a person what mental models they hold in their conversation we can look at a number of stereotypical factors to help us transmit more effectively.

One of the first things we recognize on meeting an individual is their sex. If we can’t determine this difference we instantly have difficulty in concentrating on our conversation. We can use this partly for our advantage. Communication differences exist between whether you have a masculine (focused) or feminine (multitasking) brain.

There has been quite a bit of controversy with this research so let me set some of the facts straight up front. The researchers use the terms “masculine” and “feminine” brain. A “masculine brain” is a brain that in structure has fewer connections between the right and left hemisphere and typically less grey matter. This type of brain is great for focused work. It likes to concentrate on one thing at a time, can sense directions, is very effective in accomplishing tasks and typically has few communication centers. A “feminine brain” is a brain that in structure has more connections between the right a left hemisphere and typically more grey matter. This type of great is great for multitasking – it is more effective doing more than one task, it cannot sense directions it has many communication centers.

Neither your sex nor sexual orientation determine how masculine or feminine your brain is. Anne Moir’s (a Geneticist) has found that 90% of women have “feminine” brains and 80% of males have “masculine” brains. A later blog will go into the details of how this helps shape communication. You got the brain you did as a result of how much testosterone you received in your mother’s womb.

These brain differences create differences in our communication and particularly how we see the world around us. If you have a multitasking brain you are never working on just one thing at one time, which means that your transmission is going to be on many different levels at the same time. This is why many females seem to communicate indirectly. They are communicating in many different ways and through many different forms. If you are on the receiving end of this and you expect the message only to be contained through one medium (i.e.: words) and the message is in various forms - the body language, tone, proximity, speed etc. then you might miss the complete message.

If you have a focus brain, you will only be working on one level at a time and this will be reflected in your communication. Your transmission will be direct and to the point providing information for a purpose. If a multitasking brain is receiving this message they are expecting a transmission to contain many different types of transmission and may feel like something is missing in the communication. This might cause the multitasking brain to not trust the message because something feels like it’s missing or alternatively the brain automatically fills in the missing pieces. Again the message is disrupted.

Knowing these differences before any transition or receipt of transmission can give us the edge in understanding what we need to add or listen for in our communication.

Tracy Slotin
CEO and Grand Sandmaster
The Executive Sandbox ® Change Consultants
www.ExecutiveSandbox.com